from a saga to a city

those koreans...

2007-01-25T16:38:00.000-08:00

So, reading the Time magazine on the crowded tube (which in a way was a blessing in disguise because it acted as a human shield in the cold) I read that in South Korea, the pressure to perform is bad for students, that capitalism has taken advantage of a poor students plight to failure…

If you were in trouble in any way, and I can sympathise with these students because I have undergone the same traumatic experience - having your family, most notably your mum, being called upon by your tutor/teacher/principal…this was the most embarrassing and painful experience to go through…

Your own flesh and blood, your family name being disgraced at a private school of which your own dad slogs his brains out for. You don’t want them to know that you are hanging around with the “12 monkeys” or the fact that you cheated on Duke of Edinburgh, or even worse got one detention to many for the most absurd reasons like chewing gum, and shirt hanging out in the cool fashion of left side down front, and right side down back…
A country’s solution….

Form a legal company that will send “fake parents” out with your children…the real parents never know, the teachers don’t know…basically its an agency for “fake parents”. They charge around $30 for a phone call to the school, and into hundreds for personal meetings with school officials…

I don’t want to copy a whole article, but what it fails to impact is the negative impact it will have on our children. Forget nuclear power, terrorism, the main threat in the world is this…to be able to BUY fake parents will no doubt make us more and more independent on any morals, and any responsibility to do well for ourselves. The pressure of performance vanishes, the competition dwindles and all you have is a bunch of fakes and phonies who really havn’t got a clue what is going on, but at least can buy themselves out of trouble…

Im only 25 but at least I know that I want to be sure that I know what my kid is doing. Bright eyed, tall and strong he may be, but I will not be a substitute to an import from Parent Ltd , £300 an hour , “yes Mr Head teacher, my son understands, where do I sign thank you and good day” robotic impersonation of my beautiful self….

Ok a bit hot headed and random…but its always nice to learn a new thing everyday!
Also was able to upload pictures from the Sony 800i that I have had since summer.
Now the many weird looks I have had to endure when I stop in the middle of nowhere or somewhere and flash as eagerly as the Chinese tourist next to me, now at last I have some kind of relief for those stupid common looks!

Heres a sample of life since summer 2006 which involved a trip to the countryside, a job with boxes, and a trip to Japan for Lee’s wedding, and my return more importantly …

5 things I enjoyed on Monday

2007-01-15T10:31:00.000-08:00

It was 10, but the day isnt finished yet...

1) Walking through the human maze and confusion that is Waterloo overland station, while humming “Eye of the tiger”. Have you ever seen such a mass of headless chicken run around, stop in the middle, look up for some direction of where to go in their lives…in this case, platform 6 at 9.13am. However do not like the “walk and stop without indicating “ people. The frenzy is a lovely wake up call to a Monday morning under a thick grey dullness.

2) My imagination – today I sat in the office, imagining what would have happened if I said “yes” to my current job at the wee old age of 21, rather than 23…two years of my life? What would have I done. Although the Japanese would have lost out on a such a “productive” individual as myself, I would have been well into my qualification and possibly on the verge of an arranged marriage. I probably wouldn’t have ended commuting between flat, home and girl..stepping over a bicycle in the morning and tip toeing on a cold plastic wooden floor, I probably wouldn’t b e able to say “hello how are you” in Japanese and thus greatly impressing the colleagues I work with

3) My sandwich – simplicity at its best. Ham, cheese, salad…with white bread. Tender and finished in a handful of bites. Already looking forward to next days surprise

4) Looking at my pictures on my mobile of last weekends activities. No gossip caught on camera and no photographic genius here, but still, a weekend of fun caught and filed! Somehow I spent the best part of 20 minutes looking over 15 pictures. Living in the past has always been my weakness

5) Looking forward to getting on the tube and reading my current book “the shackled continent.” It is really alarming that when you are reading something, or do something a bit unique, you start to notice more of “it”. ie, Never looked at an oriental before…now I feel like the British ambassador to all people with paler faces and smaller eyes…Now this is the first time I have read about Africa and suddenly two movies on African issues are being shown. Coincidence? I think not… I feel like this is the “Amit Show”

a very long post

2007-01-01T16:51:00.000-08:00

An interesting welcome to 2007

Monday Jan 1st 2007. Floating on to the new year. A happy new year to the few and roughly the same year for many to be honest

So the usual recommendations to oneself to be a “better person,” to be more “ productive” and to be less of a lightweight at the bar…I assume they will last a good week or two for the normal plebs, but for some of us, it acts as a timely reminder to try and focus on something a bit more positive and to somewhat improve if we can…why we have to do it once the digits change, and the year clicks from a 6 to a 7.

So as I sit with my parents, and fidget endlessly with the phone hoping that I get the text messages from those who I expect, and that one person who you don’t expect but kind of want.. I take a look around the room and see where I will be spending the first hours of a new year of my quarter of a century plus one year…

It’s a dinner with the family, my aunt and uncle and a random but pleasant couple. I get a good seat at the end of table. why do I have no texts, or phone calls, and what am I doing drinking tap water on new years eve. …

Then the realisation come, a new era is indeed being born (play with me here on the over dramatic side of things!!) Not as important and the discovery of certain amenities or the end of civil wars, but on a micro level, important for me…I like being alone. The phone gets discarded on the table, under the plate of prawn dumplings. My mum actually has a conversation with me which does not involve her dismay for my passion for the far east. My aunt proceeds to get drunk on red wine. It might seem like a scene from goodness gracious meets the royle family, but at the end of the day, it is a family and not many people have what we have…to be honest, with dad in hospital for the next week or two with this major operation, and my brother leaving for Singapore to yet again travel, work and play , its going to be an interesting bonding experience with me and my mum…two very different apples indeed!

So after a year of studying, passing and failing exams, the switch of loyalties from Japan to China, being witness to one of the most beautiful weddings I have been to, and trying to balance my bank account with the burden of travelling and an overpriced square room with a tiny window, I look to the new year with a dad in hospital, brother in a far away country, a very sensitive, and yet lovable mum, and myself, still one year lost in not doing something I want…and still one year left to decide on what I want to do…

Ok what happened to a light hearted introduction to write something with a little wit and humour. This has to stop. I should bring back another lovely rendition of the CA magazine or even better show you some absurd objective that I have for the year…

To write a travel book for the accountant. The amount of places that I have seen have been as exotic as ” “Battle”, which is aptly named thus due to 1066 battle. I remember the hotel, more of a mansion, which was adjacent to a lovely wood. So out goes Amit, thinking , a crisp jog before work would be perfect. Get the brain cells working in order to tick those important accounts! 10 minutes into the jog, I hear the distant sound of a few dogs barking. Slowly but surely the noise gets closer and more frantic, and so does my jogging. It turns into a fast sprint and I have the feeling that today’s hunt involves mixed Indian stew, fresh with the sweat and some fallen leaves. I rush, a bland word to describe the panic I was in. I jumped from one hard path of mud to another, to make sure that I didn’t lose my footing or a shoe in the sticky dirt.

I ploughed head first through the leaves and the thorns and hands acting as my machete, I chopped my way to the stairs that lead to the main entrance. I pass the windows of the dining area, and catch a glimpse of my colleague having his calorie free diet fry up. I jump the full flight of stairs, and land smoothly as any bollywood stunt man would do on the pebbled car park. I run across the park way, with the sounds of the barking ever closer. I do what I should never have done and forever regret…I turned around, and I saw a brown white blur of something coming towards me. Freaked out now, to get away from this Predator, I fumble in my pocket for the key and slam the door shut behind me, only with a few seconds to spare.

The clawing is immediate and the barking turns to growling. Then after two minutes or so, silence. I look outside through the window, panting, and there are two cocker spaniels, (the same ones who played dead two days ago and wanted a serious belly rubbing)..two words…right plonker

All they wanted was another rub…

Anyway I guess you had to be there to find this idiotic story amusing. Or maybe I still lack the capability of making something on paper sound alive…
Its time to sleep now, for tomorrow the working belt starts grinding again, I have to chomp down onto the slave factory for some more zombie style work…Though I think my mind will be on other things, like my dads operation…Good luck to him

half a year in a blink of an...

2006-12-08T18:05:00.000-08:00

I wake up at some crappy hour to have the feeling that i need to write something again. Maybe its the fact that my throat has dried up and refuses to let me sleep with its constant reminder that its itchy! Yes i have a cough, a flu and a fever...though maybe a fever is all of that. The old chest hurts. Iv turned 25 recently, well two months ago, which seems to be taking its toll. iv already started mumbling at the loud mouths in the cinema, tut tutting at the people smoking outside and looking disgracefully at the smal portions of scallop that a sea-side restuarant decides to deliver.
Yes im complaining, finding fault with everyone except me. This cough is because of the rain, not because i didnt have an umbrella. The restaurant is over priced, not expensive. Everything is not my fault!
Anyway 6 months, one birthday, one trip back up to the land of the rising sun, one marriage and one colour green for envy at the life my friends still have there...anything else? one car crash and an ill dad later, along with final moving out and regretting the fact that i cant actually live out, seems to be the sum of my life ....a greek tradegy?? i think not, an epic tale of romance,??well, its been emotional but it always is being a libra.
Il leave you with a picture of something i decided to when i was out there. A friend of mine, free spirited and very daring, jumps off without a stutter.with his 2 year old kid and wife cheering him on.... it Took me a hundred times to actually say "carpe diem" and carry through with it..but i did it...i jumped!

too good to be true

2006-08-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

FHM, Maxim, Heat…and then the crème de la crème, the monthly CA magazine (for those one step ahead of the game!)

Anyone who is anyone and has a fair idea of the main theme of my blog will know that I write endless passionate statements about my current profession. If there is to be anyone who would leak these statements to the press once I become famous for being the mastermind of another Enron , I would be grateful for their intervention.

On my bedroom desk, amongst a cluster of staples, glue, and science kit and a sorry excuse for an apple pie (more like sewage disposal), I have the latest edition of the Chartered Accountant magazine. Still in its pristine condition, and covered in wrapping to protect it from those harsh unnatural forces that seek to destroy it. The gripping headlines…

“ People who count - The Finance directors Whos who 2006”

“What it takes to achieve the paperless office”

“Outsource client work to the far east…the facts!”

For what absurd reason have I not even started reading yet? The sweat dripping down my face, my hands trembling. Who is the THE finance director? Sure, I have met many a good director in my time, but what makes a good finance director? Is it the element of appearance? Are results correlated to the shiny bald patch on their heads? How many sharp pencils do they have? And do they, I shudder, do they have the automatic electronic pencil sharpener. No finance director should be without one! Surely these men, are indeed the heroes of our world. Those that make sure every number has a meaning, and a place…on a balance sheet. They work night and day to make sure that one number on the left dos indeed equal another on the right…How on earth have I been so stupid to criticise my profession when I have now seen the truth.

The paperless office? Another invention that indeed surpasses that of the electricity, the aeroplane and many more. Now we will have an office with, wait for it….no paper! We do not write , we type…we do not scribble, we think…we don’t have paper, we don’t have pencils, oh my god, we don’t have the electronic sharpener. This is so efficient it surely is the answer to poverty and global warming. If only more of us were as devoted to the promotion of the paperless office we will surely be winning the race to promote mankind.

There you have it. I would comment on the wonders of the magazine in more detail but im sure you just want to go to your local newsagent and ask for the Chartered Accounted latest edition yourself! Enjoy!

just cant sit down

2006-08-05T13:37:00.000-07:00

i have not done one bit of work...my mind is on a completely different path than what i SHOULD be doing.

So i got my camera, tweeked a few things and came up with these images around my house.

Have awoken from a deep sleep

2006-08-05T03:37:00.000-07:00

I think its been more than a month since I last wrote anything. To be honest there was anything too write, or so I thought. I thought with exams, stress of personal and family problems, I have hit a brick wall of imagination, and yesterday iv been helped to get rid of that brick wall.
A good friend has returned, temporarily, from Japan for a friends wedding. In fact, this is the same friend whose wedding I will be attending in a few months time in Kyushu. There hasn’t been an opportunity in a while to “get away from it all” and now I found the perfect excuse to meander away from the overweight bag of stuffy notes and crushed books.

I often say to myself, I wish I had done this “sacrifice” earlier, and then visited Japan. I would have appreciated it in the same way we appreciate the one day of sunshine and clear sky in England. It would have felt like a new experience every morning, to wake up and smell the crisp countryside air and look around at the acres of rice fields. I would not have been so hung over every Saturday and Sunday morning and woke up with a massive headache in a humid glass house having forgotten to turn the air conditioning on and left the refrigerator door open! However I think there is an element of luck in doing this before you do enter this rat race or whatever you choose to call it…

You can look around and see many heads down, on the train, in the office, walking on the pavement etc. You can go to a party and bump into someone and apologise profusely but still end up with a punch in the face, you can go to your local and just look at the binge drinking society that is too scared to really think who they are and what they are doing…

However if you are lucky, you can try and take what you have learnt from an experience and bring that energy with you wherever you go, no matter how bad it can be. When I came back, I tried to use that “genki”ness to help me through the rough cold winter mornings, living at home and being restricted in what I wanted to do…I didn’t have a car, I didn’t know how to go from one place to another….my sense of adventure was rapidly diminishing and the need to feel young and new was slipping into a conformity that I had not experienced for two years. Here I am again, a bit of energy shared between my friend, a few words of advice and maybe I can carry that feeling again…to try and see the good in every situation and in every person….how long its going to last I don’t know.

There is no point pretending to be someone you are not, and unfortunately that is all you see in London. Through no fault of their own, the religion of a society dominated by materialism and money has sickened me. I wont shy away from the fact that that I do live in a big house to put it mildly and when I do come home I am served by no other than an Indian maid who my mum has slipped through the immigration border ! I wont be embarrassed to admit that there is an element of laziness on my part as I put my feet on the table and a cold glass of freshly squeezed lemon juice is brought to me on a tray, but I have never let it pull me into a false sense of comfort that this is what I want in my future life. Of course everyone needs a certain amount of money. Everyone wants to be comfortable. It would be lovely to hear the honest words of a rich man…I wish I could have spent more time with my son, I wish I was there for my wife…Maybe im making myself feel good by these assumptions, but the thing is, none of us in London seem to want to appreciate anything that is free…I just talked to one of my friends and her boyfriend was at home. I told her, to go outside and enjoy the weather, but she said they haven’t got any money…who needs money for a walk in the park, for a nap under the tree with a good book and a bottle of wine and some fruit…Where as my 34 year old mate who is just starting to piece his life together feels enlightened by skimming pebbles

There is no reason to not appreciate life without money, without experiencing life as if it was a fresh start everyday…and im going to do that from the 2nd of September when my exams end.

Im not I know how to save you, but l try…

With that, il leave you with two lines that I read just now

“two looked out from prison bars,
One saw the mud, the other saw the stars”…

up for rent

2006-07-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

i have an idea....

while i was in japan, we were given the opportunity to write a daily blog and update it on a group blog website. therefore everyone had some kind of input, and the result was a very, erm, unique insight into other peoples mentality, not just mine for a change!!
therefore...my proposal - to allow a select few to write a few bits and bobs and email to me. Then i will, yes leave them uncensored and post them IMMIEDIATELY onto the blog...
or if this doesn’t work, i will perform an act of utmost generosity. I will give you the key to my blog, the magic username and password. The authorisation codes that will let you enter into the domain, into the very creation that is amitosensei, into the depths of my psychology. Yes!
However although i am quite surprised by how popular this blog has been in creating a culture, especially around the work environment , i cant imagine there being a great number of people pushing themselves to the front of the queue. It is just a means of trying to help me fill up some empty space throughout the days when i cant write. To fill up the silence...Come on guys, im counting on you...
we will draw up a list by next week. If no volunteers, then sadly, or maybe fortuitously i will continue !

2006-07-12T16:37:00.000-07:00

managed to get something done today which is a miracle when you think consider what the day in the life of a lost soul in London can be. Starts of well as usual, with a short ride into London. Following some unforeseen personal problems that were in no way part of my control, I received a text from my mum saying my aunt had another attack.

A bit of a history lesson concerning my mums family, well in a crude way it’s a short history lesson, as my mums side seem to be plagues by early deaths and constant illnesses. Right now my mums miraculously surviving parents seem to be in and out of the hospital and my mum has resigned to it being a “mater of time”. I don’t think I can understand her pain, and I don’t think I will, because selfishly I have taken it for granted that both sets of my grandparents are alive. At the age of 24, not many people can claim that. Although my parents have both experienced some sort of grief, the only grief I suffer is of an emotional dilemma that seems to revolve around the opposite sex!

However the news of my favourite aunt having another brain attack through a lesion. In case you’re not sure what a lesion is, its simply an abnormal tissue in the body that has unfortunately grown in or around the brain of my aunt causing clotting. Although not al lesions require treatment, whenever there is a blood clot, this can lead to severe results. As a consequence, the first attack my aunt had was 4 years ago, and this left her weakened but enough energy to fight on and get back to normal within the year. I remember being uterrly shocked that day and although not religious, i found myself staring upwards inside the great dome of St Pauls and just hoping i could somee kind of hope.

However the doctors failed or did not want to interfere with another delicate swelling and this caused a more grave attack later on, which left part of her body slightly paralysed, and in a way, resembling the effects of mild stroke…and now she is back inside again….

the reason im writing this at some god forsaken hour, is not to enlighten you concerning the delicate illness terminology , but maybe to get something out of my system…

When you hear news of someone close to your heart is suffering whether it be a grave illness or even a personal problem there is something inside you that just wants to throw everything to the ground and go to the aid of that person. Today I felt that urge twice. My aunt is someone who seems to think the world of me, god knows why! On the few occasions when I call her up, I don’t get the usual grandma rant of why didn’t you call, but instead it’s a long talk about life, girls, and what team her son is going to play for when he grows up. One thing I will always love her for, is the fact that she was one of the relatives who told me to stay another year in Japan and to live my life, and to make sure that I am happy no matter what. Unfortunately my own parents even weren’t the most supportive when I called them to say sweetly that i didnt want to cme home until another year, (albeit slightly high from the sulphuric fumes of Mount Aso in Kumamoto). I don’t think im the best at keeping in touch, but her kids, my cousins, who are barely in double figures seem to run to the phone just to have a word with their cool older brother (or so Id like to think!!)

There is the usual cliché of why does this happen to good people? Is there a deeper meaning behind al of this….and the only answer I have is no there is isn’t ! There is only one thing. A motto that seems to be at the core of this blog and the reason why this blog was created. You have to life your life.

As I sit tomorrow in the class and learn about how one company can measure its cash better than another, and what discount rate to use, I think I owe it to my aunt who lies in a hospital bed, and her children , and her husband who suffers from MS, …I think I owe it to them, to look away from the screen and take a moment to think about how lucky I am and how I can live whatever is left from my short life to the best of my ability

easy to pack up and go?

2006-07-09T17:09:00.000-07:00

So I haven’t done much work unfortunately, or fortunately (what am I thinking!) due to the classic sports on tv.

Having witnessed history in the making as the master of tennis yet again wins his 8th grand slam, and Italy go one below Brazil in winning the World Cup against a France without Zizzi Zizzou…As I imagine the feelings that overpower him as he sits alone in the changing room, head in between his knees and his hands holding his bald head, which would have, for that matter, much rather be holding the shining golden “bald” head of the World Cup trophy…200 million people watched him head but a man in the chest. What would have been branded as assault on the streets, was awarded a red card and shocked gasps by the spectators…

It could my exams into perspective. I am far behind, and losing sight of the finish line. To say that there is a fnish line is but a lie, as all I have to look forward to after this is yet another 6 gruelling months of auditing. Life doesn’t get better? Would I prefer to be doing these exams than be in Zidane’s shoes at THIS precise moment of time? That’s a tough one! Idol turned devil…the pressure for him to succeed at the top level and the hopes of many on his Algerian shoulders…or the pressure of family’s, friends and now works expectations on me to succeed. I have overcome quite a few of these battles by just plodding by, and although I can see myself being up for what is going to be another hour learning what a defined pension contribution plan is, my mind wonders of to many other pastures…

To pick up my guitar and play another song, that inevitably turns into a little 3 chord medley that you could imagine gets the crowed buzzing for a few minutes and silent in anticipation, but then I pluck the wrong string and I go from a minor to a poor flat! Yet again failing…
To be a writer? Don’t start…you look at the greats…they study hard at what they do, there’s no way I can jam my way through some kind of journalistic profession. I cant seem to even write consistently…

To be on my travels again? Where would I go? Santiago? The name sounds nice, yeah just for the name. To travel nervously from one dodgy cab to get ripped of my a bearded old man for a pair of rusty sunglasses. Just by myself, listening to some lonely trumpet and drums echo in the background through my headphones…the pottery self made necklace that I wear for good luck hanging on for dear life as the open top farm style vehicle converted bus carries us through dirt roads to the nearest village for a light break. I have a few sunflower seeds and drown myself in water to quench the dying thirst brought on by the heavy humidity. I have no idea what Santiago will be like…or Sao Paolo…but I would like to go there…

Right now, im typing with my books everywhere…shall I carry on reading a bit more…I guess I should. Writing is so much better. More freestyle, more spin spin suger! Dive into my yellow paper…relax on my bed, think that im actually opening doors with every word…

Im just doing this for the money
And im just doing the money for the travel
And il wait … but not long

There are things going on in the world far more important, and I lie awake in my bed worried that I cant remember the reason im doing what im doing… What would my marks be out of 25 for this piece of writing? IS there a beginning, and well thought out concise and precise points? Have I lost the plot. Have i built my own moat and castle, hiding away on my own island?

A man lies in bed, probably silent and deep in thought, and no idea what is in store for him the next day. The thoughts of millions all on him, the energy sapping away and hes becomes more dejected...

if no man is an island, then tell that to Zidane?

inevitable

2006-06-25T06:09:00.000-07:00

again, not realy a copy and paste individual apart from when im working, but here is something to enlighten you about my chosen profession, incase you didnt know what we do...

An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: "This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old"."Where did you get this exact information?" "I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old."

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night.""Have you tried counting sheep?""That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

Why do accountants make good lovers? They're great with figures.

A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that l8 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."

Technically, having sex with me is like a charitable gift.
You're entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income... now let's do it.
You're the kind of girl I could take home to mother - which is good, since I still live with her.

and lastly...

You might be an Accountant if...

you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.
at the move Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.
getting to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.
your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
you are doing it now because you checked the file and found that you did it last year.
you decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double underline "======".

japanese tv

2006-06-25T06:04:00.000-07:00

I dont like to cop other people's blog material, but this one had to be done. Sorry lee, hope you dont mind but this is classic stuff.

For those who want to know what japanese tv is like, click on this link, and you wil be transported into oriental bliss

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjUkS63mfVY&search=silent%20library

Turning my back to the sun...

2006-06-23T23:57:00.000-07:00

Time 8.27am
Place - on top of my mattress
Morale - high (the sun is reflecting of my wall hangings and lighting up the room
Expectation of future morale - probably low as the books open, and I turn my back to the sun, the laughs of children playing outside, the buzzing sound of a lawn mower and the endless amount of World Cup games that are on show at the moment

Anyway, another one week or so has passed before I actually have sat down and wrote something a bit more concrete than just copy and paste funny songs that don’t really have a meaning.

Watched a film two days ago, called Hard Candy. Having told my brother that this film interested me, he thought I was a bit sick (to put it mildly). To those who don’t know this film, its circles around two main characters, the so called “paedophile” masking as a fashion photographer of young models, and the so called “victim” who meets up with him through the net and follows a (non graphic) affair with him. However there is a twist rather early on in the film, and the girl is not as “sweet and innocent” as one may assume. She has an agenda all along and we are continue on a rollercoaster of emotions throughout the film. As she accuses and punishes him, (through one method that can make us men cringe!) you can see some of the audience actually wincing and feel some sort of sympathy for the man. Its as if we want to believe that the man is innocent of the crimes he is led to have committed.

The POINT is, these kind of films give us a clue of who we are. We can avoid these kind of films that provoke our inner thoughts and nudge us to thinking thoughts that usually never appear in our brains, unless we end up reading the tragic Metro which seems like a regular obituary, or watch the news at 6pm. This films are clever because it shows us that we cant hide in our shell and pretend that people like him don’t exist. He appears “normal” as per society’s definition, he has a good job, flashy car and a stylish house. We want to believe that as per society, this guy must be telling the truth. Leave him alone! However in a world where everyone wears masks, who are we to know who is who and what they say they are. We are all perfect actors. We wear a mask, hiding our true selves and insecurities from everyone else. If WE can do this so perfectly without the least bit of training, the chances of a more ill natured person achieving this is very likely…

Without sounding like a film geek, which I don’t pretend to be, the film LOOKED good, with the cinematography. Its been a while since I saw a film with good photography and where the camera plays as key a role as the actors. There is no Hollywood sad song to help the audience along the emotional path where the actors can fail. There is no point in this false setting…
Anyway I recommend this film. Not saying its great. Just saying its different and “interesting”. I don’t think I was meant to talk about this topic throughout the film…

Im sure, as I finish my endless zombie like reading tonight of donkeys shit that really doesn’t mean anything material to life, I will come back and supply a top ten list of jobs that one can do if we don’t manage to see the light at the end of this long dark smelly tunnel…

One of them has to be something fleeing to Bermuda as an asylum seeker , protesting against the unfair taxing and poor quality of the NHS, claiming this is all a conspiracy against you, and therefore be offered protection from the government of Bermuda to live full time of very healthy social benefits…
What do you think?

some classics being recommended by fellow class mates

2006-06-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

From Paris to Berlin, and every disco I get in,
my heart is pumping for love, pumping for love,
'Cause when I'm thinking of you, and all the things we could do,
my heart is pumping for love, you left me longing for you
from funmi - her favorite song...

From Paris to Berlin, and every disco I get in, my heart is pumping for love,
pumping for love, 'Cause when I'm thinking of you,
And all the things we could do,
my heart is pumping for love

From Paris to Berlin, and every disco I get in,
my heart is pumping for love, pumping for love.
'Cause when I'm thinking of you,
And all the things we could do,
my heart is pumping for love,
you left me longing for you, you left me longing for you,

(and now the best part...)

you left me longing for you, you left me longing for you who-hou-u who-hou-u who-hou-u who-hou-u who-hou-u who-hou-u who-hou-u

some other things i cant get out of my head apart from kylie,

- ocaocaocado..ocado ocado......

as you can see , these 10 min sessions to write blogs are really difficult. I must come up with better things than this

a quickie!!

2006-06-21T05:41:00.000-07:00

It has been a turbulent few weeks at the ol college, but this is the first time that i have felt that we can do this./....oh shit, she has started classes...
i have several things i will talk about,

classes
women
sex
and what is in my sandwhich...(not sex relaetd!)

30 bottles of pims and 150 sausages later

2006-06-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

Congrats to the opening ceremony that welcomed the british summer to our hearts. A true feast of fun, friskiness and full on drinking. My only regret is that i dont have any pictures. If there is anyone who took pictures of the last saturdays activities, the more provacative the better, please send it to me. I promise i wont edit anything!

My own personal Barbeque saga - left canary warf in the early afternoon, being "pushed out" by dear Li to "hurry up and go". With 45 minutes before kick off, im rushing to the station with one bottle of pimms, and 8 cans of 64. A statistic at a website that my other friend Lee springs to mind now (how almost over a third of business men drown themselves with alcohol"..thank god i saw that email today!

Manage to get into the south londoned based house just intime to see a lovely picture of friends sitting down outside looking at a tv with England about to kick off. Not had i opened my first can, did England score. Hooray!

Anyway the story goes on for another 6 to 8 to 10 hours. People come and go. Playing the guitar in a treehouse, gatecrashing the neighbours party, shampooing a mates hair in the shower, walking from one end of the garden to the other for no ther reason but to try and gain a bit of sense of where i was. My phone! My worst enemy when im a little tipsy. Im sure Li got a headache reading my text messages. Not cool!

Everyones talking. Everyones laughing. Jazzy jef comes on with a bit of U2 later on. This is how summer is done. Then you realise, the job might be a wet sardine, but we have formed some kind of inner circle. Friends from all over the country, even the world, sharing the same fate of studies during the summer but all managing to have one last bit of fun. There wasnt any talk about work, about studying, about problems. It was all about the fact that we share something better - our love for happiness and pork sausages!

The summer party was a success. With every corner of the house used for entertainment, how cold it not be! One group challengng each other to drinking games, with the big men showing their true ability to down jugs and jugs of sweet pimms and lemonade and anything else put in.. another group playing the banjo and guitar in a Lord of the Flies style festival, and the other dancing to tribal summer music near the sound system. With the odd few with their heads between their legs (their own legs), and others just happy to be in the atmosphere and lie on the couch, i hope this description helps to make a clear and "lovely" picture...of life under the sun

soo tempting!

2006-06-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

its so tempting write now to write some kind of depressing monologue concerning the trough that i am sliding into right now. yet another deja vu of " studying in the summer", and watching the kids play in the river and jump on each others backs...well, kind of...

so do i talk about the fact that i have gone several days staring at lines, ink marks and funny shapped rubbers. do i talk about hte fact that EVERYONE seems to be better than this, more motivated than me, more eager to chew the end of the pencil that i am?....do i even talk about the fact that i seem to have an excuse not to study, such as "this is ok, il do it on the weekend, in between NIcks bbq and and brothers tennis match?", to the absurd as "the room is full of clever people, they put me off!"....

unfortunately for me, the majority of my friends doing this, are in fact, the same as me. NO choice, No question! A lot of us do want to play, drink and be merry in the sea, and a lot of us do want to throw the brand of "auditor" in the bin and replace it with " sexy surfer." However we have no choice. its not our destiny right now, its more so a lack of other determination to do anything else...and for those who read this and are happy in what they do (especially other accountants), then think again what is making you happy...the money, your job, your LIFE outside your job? and thats exactly where the hammer hits the profound rustic nail...my life outside work is pleasent, BUT now my life outside work has become, um, work...and that is uterly depressing...

so in order to stop this from becoming a suicide blog, im going to cheer myself up, and the majority of readers , yes this is dedicated to the guys and girls stuck in this with me...the belfast boys especialy!!!

here are some stupid pictures that i myself have collected in the recent past to show, that life WILL get better...chin up!

this is the view from my home. this view has been what iv been looking out while i did my last studies oh but three years ago. just to show that i can find something to distract me!

where we went this weekend, to the chalk hills, Incase life gets too tough, head down south near Eastbourne and see if you really think that these exams really are the "be all and end all", life ureself up from your bend over peering position at the edge and go back to your car, and drive back up again to college...life isnt that bad as the next picture will surely prove...enough soppy "discovery" pictures now!!!....

i could go on forever here...and you can see, there is one thing in common in the last few pictures...

and to those who dont know, this was all in celebration for the now married Andy! congratulations! as shown below...what a guy!

and we will be setting up an all male pin up calendar for you soon...

unexpected

2006-05-31T12:40:00.000-07:00

a few more days, until i (we), accountants hit the books and saddle on our little sad ponies, to achieve status of big time qualified accountant. there is nothing else more useful in life than a CA, i.e. chartered accounting degree. There is nothing more useful in life than knowing what papers a business must fill in to ensure it has the regulated wallpaper colour and to make sure it has paid, yes actually paid for its staples and rulers that flow almost like water into our eager hands...
i am not looking forward to college one bit! To sit in a desk, frustrated (more ways than one), to be peering between shoulders to catch a glimpse, "oh that was an E not a A, get it now!", to have to drink tealess tea and shit stained coffee. cant wait to get in the class and have to smell the new unopened hard paper books labelled " 1000 rules of good ethics" and "how to piss of your client without being there"....oh the list of reasons are endless...
i pray that I have one last weekend...one last weekend of fun, frivolous fun. I want to dream I am somewhere else, A place far away from the cream wooden desks, boring white walls and monotnous hum of the projector screen...take me away to a land of no worries, endless love and sun...could that be Havana?
So i sit here and stare outside the horizon, sometimes filled with green hills and empty large houses, or sometimes filled with large skyscrapers competing for respect...sometimes i think, i dont even have to go anyway to feel like im relaxed.
Anyway, i can hear the faint sound of the binders clicking open, and papers being handed out, pens at ready and brains reving up at the start line...
the only problem is, I havnt filled any petrol in yet...

2006-05-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

"Black Rain"

You left them swimming for their lives
Down in New Orleans
Can't afford a gallon of gasoline
With your useless degrees and contrary statistics
This government business is straight up sadistic
Now you don't fight for us but expect us to die for you
You have no sympathy for us but still I cry for you
Now you may kill the revolutionary but The Revolution you can never bury

Don't speak to us like we work for you
Selling false hope like some new dope we're addicted to
I'm not a desperate man but these are desperate times at hand
This generation is beyond your command
And it won't be long 'til the people flood the streets
To take you down One and All a black rain is gonna fall

from ben harpers official website...

my bott-on

2006-05-30T04:20:00.000-07:00

Nature didn’t tell me “be poor” , Nor indeed “be rich”. But she does beg me “be Independent!”
Chamfort “Maxims” (1795)
Status Anxiety
“Alain de Botton”

This, as you might recall is the same author who also wrote the “Art of Travel”. Think what you may, but he is fast becoming one of my favourite authors concerning “Me against the system” style writing. It doesn’t help, when every day you are involved in a constant fight between yourself as an independent person and one who is “dependent” on a salary. Unfortantly , my life has somewhat changed, to one who has no care for status, money and even his future, to one that is constantly worrying about his bank balance, the next career move and his position in the world. A whirlpool of emotions mixed with a fever of a fast moving life…

Il stop now, before i go too "deep". Managed to see some pictures of one of my best friends 31st birthday. 31 or 32? Or 33? Not sure. The title of best friend now seems to waver. No, she still is one of my best friends. Knowing when ones birthday is, or even giving something is not a proof of value of friendship. It’s the quality that counts.

You can spend 10 weeks with someone, 24 hours a day and never get to bond, however one day with another person might teach you more about yourself than any other experience…

Im feeling quite random today at the office. Not much to do. Iv compiled a list of expenses for £300, on the work version of msn messenger to various people, thinking of giving a prank call to a friend of mine. I have been quite good at my accents recently. My favourite is the dumb Texan. Some people might say, im not play acting but finding my true personality!

Weather update – its beg of June, and still clouds wont just go away. They seem to be forming a siege around the sun, preventing us from reaching our daily and reliable source of happiness.

Went to Madrid for the weekend, and there was no battlefield, just a peaceful sun sharing its love with the Spanish citizens. The love was then shared with us, and we passed on the happiness to the Sangria…definitely there is a correlation between light and happiness. No wonder the highest rate of suicide is a Scandinavian country!

“Shes only happy in the sun” – Ben Harper

Anyway good news, a max if 20 degrees this weekend , down the south coast of Bournemouth. Gorgeous stuff isn’t it!

lionel is king

2006-05-23T16:42:00.000-07:00

a man who makes love song after song, classic after classic, is surely a man to be installed as a great man forever in time.
he has songs that can be played as matrimonal songs on a timeless basis. a true amen to a man who has become immortal. well done lionel! sounds like an obituary!
one twice three times a miracle!
p.s. i am very drunk
have just played the "osama" game for those who know what this. involved the miss, so i didnt really get up to much, even though she was willing to do anything! mmmm
...suddenly the song "thats why im easy" comes on.....
anyway it was her birthday and me and her flat mates sorted out a surprise birthday. dont think shes had this done before. hope she liked it.
in two weeks i will be studying like a slug on lettuce for my shitty exams. if i could escpae i would. id rather the rain wash me away. had a little bite at a one day pre-emtpive course warmn up today. was horrible! just seeing the geeks i am with. without being pompous it was terrible. they have geeky smiles, with geeky laughs, with geeky teeth with geeky shrugs...i dont need to be associated with them...
anyway must sleep. have an exciting bullshit trip to birmingham to do a crap analysis of the accounts of some shit company iv never heard of....
dont worry, not suicidal..am happy actually...happy drunk...happy happy happy happy..happy that i know where my life ISNT going to go....
happy birthday li
well done!

actually its not about me...its about the...

2006-05-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

...PEOPLE!!!!

Having recommended my blog to another good friend, and half expecting the usual polite “erm, not bad amit, at least your grammer is getting better”, she turned around and said, “for us who don’t know your daily life, please give us open subjects to talk about, so that we can comment and give us a more insightful opinion.”

Iv taken heed, and before I leave to go to sunny Madrid (max 29 degrees!), and drink Sangria with a double shot of tequila and play football next door to the Real Madrid stadium, I must apologise. This bog has been a bit too much recently about me. Never meant it.

So what can we talk about?

1) Im on series 5 of 24., episode 12. It really is stopping me sleep. Thank god he has the better half of the day completed! Which one do you think is the best series? Personally 1 and 2 are equally good. The rest are basically Jack against the Muslims, corrupt Americans, stupid Americans and now Russians.

2) In the other room I saw my friend watching Big Brother. The new series….mmmm, no comment. Anyone?

3) I read the headlines of someone else’s newspaper. “Boy kills middle aged man having seen the “slapping video” on his mobile. Its about a teenage cult recording teenagers hit bystanders unexpectedly. Of course this is limited to a couple of fools, but has influenced on person to go too far. I just stop reading the newspaper, especially the free Metro. It might be free, but the actual cost is reading stories of rape, murder and the world coming to an end in the morning! Not my wake up call at all! No wonder everyone is so depressed in the tube.
(see previous blog for tube analysis)

4) Da Vinci is said to be a major disappointment in the cinema. Surely they would have anticipated that the whole good thing about a book is the anticipation of what happens next, and you cant fast forward, you have to read. For the film, I can only imagine the “oh now, what happens next?” gasps being answered the next second after by “ooh, that’s it?”..and “I don’t get it….” End of the day we all know the twist to the tale….Its like the Titanic.

And lastly

5) will youngs “who am I” is a nice song. It plays on heart fm at least once a day, always when im in the shower. Yes, I know typical song to like. He has an interesting voice, always sounds cold, poor chap!

Any comments?
Song of the week anyone? Mine is Matt Costa - Sunshine. Typical I know!

me against the system

2006-05-17T00:03:00.000-07:00

my friend changed their date for the wedding. today i have to go and change AGAIN the holiday dates. in our business we rely on a system which books us on clients months, even years in advance. this means there is no roomn for spontaneity. this is my biggest loss since joining this rat race!
so, my plan is to wear really cool clothes (day off), probably show a bit of my pubic chest hair. then il come in, with a nice biug doughnut, (everyone likes those jam filled doughnuts especially when you stare through the deep depths of a computer screen). then il give her my puppy dog eyes, and sigh. she will know i need a favour now. she will know that i have no choice but to ask the question. she will understand that this is the last favour i will ever ask her. please please please can i change the date for my holiday? please can you change my bookings. please can i not do any work for three months. please can i run around in white boxers around the whole office shouting "i wana go on a summer holiday", or something like that. no need for white boxers. iv already started you on a bad road to imagniation of me and pubic chest hair!! i dont have it

its been to long

2006-05-14T11:27:00.000-07:00

i have just seen my life flash past for the past week. It has been like a train in a tunnel. You dont seem to remember where you have been for the last few minutes. In my mind, i dont know where iv been for the last few months. Of course physically iv been here, in a state of hunger. Hungry for passion. I seem to find some of it by sharing that energy with someone you love. I have the hunger to sometimes take that energy and use it to water my own selfish needs, and through my thirst for happiness i have found out that things around me seem to dry to a crisp. Mouth dry, and stomach churning. Feels like the sun is too hot, and a parched desert is the only sight in horizon

this where i stopeeed...all but one week ago. now on my first day off in a while, energy on a high, a new spirit is born. one that doesnt mind being challenged once a while. you see life and you expct chanllenges. most of us are never going to be uper rich or famous. it looks like theres a big abundance of those out there, but really, most people lie in the middle. average.

theres not much goin on in this mass of mess. each person trying in vain to be the "individual" that breaks away from the rusty chains. everyone with their own meaning for existence. everyone seeming to be more mportant than the other...

a very random blog this has been in total. iv looked back at what iv wrote, and it goes from talking about the usual mind numbing "i want to break free" (?) to the "why are the skys blue" to th "did you know that...."...

ok, the main elements could be about how much i love my work, having lived an illustrious lazy life before. technialy i am stil lazy. i still have no idea what i want to do, and i dont wish to find out either. minute you start thinking of big things lke hat, its better to then turn your mnd towards the next song on your mp3 player, or even better write a blog.

thuis week has been too long in terms of no writing. just theres been nothing to write about which would be on any interest. Yesterday was so exciting. I was talking to a friend of mine about our passions when we were young. She said she had none. Her life has just been from A to B to C. I had a passion or two, a random wannabe hotel manager, or even better a script writer. Both seem impossible now, and the Alchemist becomes a bit more understandable.

If any one has anything that needs writing, even if it a lyric for a baby shampoo, give me a go...

babys have lovely hair, shampoo can make it oh so fair, so wash it with Booboogaagaa, every baby should ask their Mothaaaaaa!!

(ofcourse use a well known pop star like Snoop doggy dog cos his hair is a symbol for us al!)

sunny day, same picture

2006-05-05T02:26:00.000-07:00

Ok that was a little bit too much yesterday, I apologise. I think the fact that the office hasn’t started the air conditioning nor has it invested in any windows (probably due to the intense blanket of pollution that hangs over the city). I do love everyone really, and perhaps there is an underlying anger in me that is waiting to erupt, a boiling point that has taken years to simmer. Thousands of moments of being shoved around in the tube, having to wait for the inevitable signal failure, of having to pay 5 pounds for a box of lettuce and mayo, of having to wait for people to turn up only 40 minutes late and not even apologise for their lack of respect….
Ok breeeeeeeeathe in!

Maybe life in London would be less stressful if, yes wait for it, if we had a beach. London should be surrounded like a moat, by a beach. It should not be open to children below 18 years old and those above 60 (for fear of them showing more than they need to). This might border on discrimination, maybe it is, but in the long term it will benefit all of us. Imagine on a hot day like the one we had yesterday of 25 degrees, imagine we could take an overland train or drive to the nearest point.

Unfortunatly im living a dream. A dream where I can wawlk out, put on the white silk shirt over my tanned chest and get the beige khakis out with brown sandals and step out onto the warm sand. The gentle clapping of waves caressing the shore and my straw hat filtering out the suns strong glare. Oh yes.

In the distance, Theres the smell of burning meat with cooking oil. The soun of chilled out ska in the background and the beckoning call of women in their bikinis drinking and succumbing to the magic of the beach. Yes this is the life. Im gona lie down for a while and let the sun massage me from top to bottom and let the earth take me into her belly.

There is no other way to go to this beach unless you close your eyes. Its hard to describe something that you might never have been to. There is no other way to describe the beauty of a girl in a bikini sipping a beer and dancing by herself in her own trance , to the sound of the waves, unless you’ve seen that. I wish I could feel the warmth of the sand and taste the hot humid air around me. I wish I could escape into the ocean and let the waves carry me across a gentle path to bliss.

This is good enough for the time being though.
Who wants to cycle cuba next year?

mask on mask off

2006-05-04T09:45:00.000-07:00

I rumbled in my pocket and heres what I wrote a while ago, I think, probably in a drunken frenzy.

“don’t give in everyone,
Life seems to pass you by
But don’t give up till you’ve won
The battle between you and life’s lie
The lie that they make us believe
To choose the narrow and straight
Where it is the many we should weave
……..

Then I cant read the rest…
It brings to the imagination a scene of a train, chugging along, with completely dead faces that are opposite each other. Each individual, with each unique story of life, temporarily wearing the same mask that is worn by all when getting on the tube. A face of no expression, of “I don’t exist”, of not wanting or wishing or sighing or winging, but just nothingness.

As if they came from a place so dark, that their memories are gone, and they have temporarily joined a system that transports them from A to B without actually seeing anything through the distance.

Don’t you have an urge to just take of that mask. Be yourself. Smile a little at a memory of long ago and look out of the scratchy window to see life. Don’t hide behind a phone or music or newspaper. Look at someone. As my acting teacher says, (don’t laugh!), create a moment between you and the stranger. You know he or she exists but will you acknowledge their existence.

Or is there an invisible wall between you and them and technically you cant see over it, so really you are in your own box, as they are in theirs. Is this how you want to spend your life? Selfish and in your own world? Do you not care for others? Be lost then in your own black hole and go to some dark corner where you live the world that was made for you and notice things that you wish to, and discard those who you care less about. I have no time for you!

its hot..think the heat got to my head...

before the jury

2006-05-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

so before i write some deep stuff tomorrow (how eloquent) i would like to add to my discomfort, that the blog is now open for comments that can be made by non blog members. this leaves myself open for attack, compliments and any random thoughts that you might like to add to each blog, or if you are feeling very keen, comment on the previous blogs.
dont be shy, but like the CEO of our company, i will respond only to those comments that are signed by someone, i.e. no anonymous (these are left disgarded like the trash that they are)...and yes, i might even trash them. (even the good ones?)

anyway having jogged for a brief spell through polluted london, and as i have just lost my first tennis match of the season (terrible game, so many unforced errors), i am no longer going to discuss the issue of whether londoners carry their "masks" with them throughout their lives to a greater extent than non londoners, and i will leave you with some funny quotes about sport that i read whilst on the loo...

a) the englsh football team - brilliant on paper, shit on grass

b) well either side could win, or it could be a draw (big ron!)

c) i never make predictions, and i never will (gazza!)

d) steve mcahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead (tom ferrie)

e) if that had gone in, it would have been a goal (david coleman)

f) the entire contents of the manchester city trophy room have been stolen. police are looking for a man carrying a light blue carpet (bernard manning)

and one of my best....

g) you'd think if any team could put a decent wall, it would be China (oooh terry venables...)

aaah yes, it was time to lighten up the mood dont you think.

my road to work

2006-05-02T01:44:00.000-07:00

the sun has come out!!

So whats the first thing you do when you get up on the beginning of the week? Do you shout oh joy, oh callay, as the sun appears, with the gentle push from up above to lift your head and make you smile as the cutains are withdrawn to allow the rays to caress your face. The temptation of work, the lure of the desk pulls you like a magnet, taking you into her bosom and holding you there until the week is over and you must let go to face the unknown world outside your office, daunting and cold.

Or....maybe not.. On this system at work we have an online booking service. They tell us up to a year in advance what clients we are at, where and when. It is terrifying. Right now, I await in fear. My two blocks, representing one week, are empty. An empty white colour. Awaiting to be filled by some sickly shade of green , where the name of the client comes up. Amit, welcome, for the next two weeks you will be assigned to the isle of shit, at Cold and Dark Ltd. Exactly what iv been waiting for. So then I call up the relevant person, I ask the horrible question “where and when”..i feel cheap. My services are so easily renedered useless as the last minute I can be taken off, or at the last minute someone can tell me they want me and I just don’t have a say. The cheapest of the cheap. I go there, fake smile, fake handshake, ..wearing the same unironed trousers as I have before. I don’t need to say who I am..i have a staff number, and business car which stupidly has got my wrong extension number (my fault!).. I want to escape, my feet are itching to go and say “help the needy, save the world, eat your own puke”..anything but be a slave, a whore to the business world.

Sell my soul?
If I knew I had one I would appreciated it much more.

Anyway it is a lovely day, and a good morning to you all!!!

am in a hurry

2006-04-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

Theres an internal rumbling going on, and it’s a pain in my stomach. Trying to concentrate on a list of “to do “ stuff for the weekend. Strange idea to find a company, or someone who will let me walk their dog…where can I walk a dog. I want to try and see if these cute little furry things can get a long with me, and visa versa.

Topics to ponder…
What do you say when one person announces that they don’t actually like you? Do you say, ok, that fine. Do you think , so what, you’re a fool!, or do you look inside and think, what is wrong with myself. I wont continue this any more….

It’s the weekend, bank holiday. Three days. Stock take tomorrow counting handbags. Life doest get that much better. Im running out of ideas of what to do in London that wont cost me much money.
1) Jump in the Thames to cool down , that’s if the weather actually climbs above 18 degrees , which it hasn’t.
2) Sit down in a park against a tree, pour sum jam on the grass and see nature run its course
3) Eat curry after curry while watching 24 all over again, and see nature run its course
4) Pick up a new hobby…try and learn how to walk on your hands (that’s free)
5) Look at the sky and just point upwards with your mouth gaping in awe…
6) Go for the natural 20 minute run and spend the rest of the day recovering
7) Make dinner out of all the free food u see lying in London. That includes all the giveaways they have in shops and free cheese from markets.
8) Spend the entire day looking for property on the internet … an affordable two bedroom flat in London that has enough room to allow for your head
9) Read a book , fall asleep, dream, write about your dream, read a book, drink wine, sleep, wake up, head hurts
10) walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk

As you can see, im running out of imagination of what to do in this country. Help me out people. I need to save money but I also need to have fun. Has London become into an overpriced , overcrowded, separate cultured mess. We have the Ben, the Parks, the pubs, the smelly urinated streets and ofcourse the Queen.
Anyway work has finished, my manager is happy, and now im happy, my services have been well appreciated and I feel so cheap Alas im going now because I cant stand sitting (?) on the same seat with the same people…need to run!

the gossip?

2006-04-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

Spoke to one of my best friends on the phone. It definetley brought back the memories and shows how much we have all moved on, but also how our friendships have changed. She said one thing that I guess only a real friend can say, “no matter how long we don’t speak, whenever we do, its as if we had spoken yesterday”

Well I guess that makes sense eh?

So right now, I have been given the task of finding gossip? What gossip do I have now on my life? My life seems like its flashing past, until I decide to write this blog, which gives me a chance to pause and take a breath (like my diary in Japan). People have nothing but nice things to say about by writing, and maybe I critisize myself, or maybe it’s a lack of confidence but I cannot believe that these simplistic sentences can touch anyones feelings.

So any gossip?

From my conversations (while busy working, honestly), I found out one of my friends was run over in Japan. It happened on a well known road in Karatsu through a ine wood forest, adjacent to the beach. A place where they also serve the Karatsu burger. This area has nothing but fond memories of camping by the beach and hot sunny days with a morning bath in the sea. Anyway back to the point… and so my friend, very drunk, finds himself bent over in the middle of the road…at night. Unfortunately, and understandably a driver failed to see him clearly and hit him. Before you snigger and imagine a car hitting a man bending over bum first, imagine as I have tried, a man bent over , a car hitting him sideways, him crashing to the floor, bones broken and sticking out from his legs and waking up next morning in a hospital with no idea what happened apart from the searing pain of his legs.

I always wanted to go back to Japan. I still do. However I am always scared of something like this happening to me in another country. I remember when I had pain in my knees (from playing football on the hard gravel, as Japan fails to acknowledge grass playing football fields), and the doctor warned me they would have to stick a thick metal needle in my knee cap and suck the excess fluid that caused the pain…I chose the tablets instead

His parents have now left back to California. His friends are there. Where does he go from know as the recovery process will be long, who knows. I hope he chooses to stay in Japan, and follow his passions. He is a strong man in the heart and not on who gives up easily , but when something hits you so suddenly it can be hard to climb up again. Everyone has their crashes as well, it depends on the cliché of how you get up again…

My crash might come in the next three months when I take on these exams that might choose my path in the future…or it might not…

So that’s the gossip for you…

let my finger do the clicking

2006-04-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

here are just some pictures that i thought should hit the big screen.
they come from my holiday in France. Some are the typical ones you might be used to, others look like a different country altogether...

Yet another scam

2006-04-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

What the difference between Walt Disney and McDonalds?

The answer? McDonalds at least you get your moneys worth! Plus there’s always the option of going somewhere else? Or not going at all….

I have never before seen such a capitalist idea work to such an effect as the effect that Disneyland has on its customers. Once your in, theres no way out. You have to spend spend spend. There is no way to escape once your there. They don’t warn you in the leaftlet, that tickets are over priced, that only continental breakfasts are served for free, that in order to take a picture with even Goofy, you have to queue and pay; that there rides are as reliable as the Northern line, that the magic isn’t really magical unless your children are happy with a pen rather than a massive bean filled , made in China, Winnie in the Pooh that wont even fit in the car on the way home…everything made in China. Thats the American dream i guess

As you can see, I don’t really believe in happiness through material and corporate mind games. Another hippy story coming up ? Probably not. Its rather stating the obvious. Ranting about McDonalds, Starbucks and now Disneyworld isn’t anything new. So I wont tempt to try and imitate any PHD student or professor.

What was much better than the smiling and waving Mickey Mouse (who underneath MUST have been the most pissed off arrogant smelly – due to the sweat – French man). I cant stop but wonder whose job it is to put on those suits and get on a little paper boat to start waving and acting high in front of all those kids. Getting hugged and hugged. Maybe there is something nice of being liked by everyone. I can relate to that being a teacher in Japan. Oh yes! However they are wearing a donkeys head, or a bears head or a mouse head over their faces. I would like to imagine that they are cursing at every screaming child who tries to grab a piece of Mickey’s nose. “Merde you stupid !**!” To summarise, I have never seen so many screaming and crying children in one place as I have in the land of magic and happiness.

Take me to Paris. Take me to the suburbs of Paris. I choose to live there instead of the boring paved pavements of Londinium suburbs. The open cafes with views of the roundabout, with a fountain spurting out of the flowers in its centre, and whose surrounding roads are more like cobbled stones placed hand by hand to allow for the lovely sound of stone against heel. The tiny little citreons, little barely alive cars whose tops have been torn apart to allow the sun into the driving seat. The cold Stella with some peanuts and a view of a side street with the Patisserie, Boulangerie, outdoor busking with an old trumpet, all under the shade of the setting orangey sun with wisps of creamy clouds. There is nothing more relaxed than that.

The only problem is that Paris itself charges for its beauty…
The search continues

what we should do next week...

2006-04-12T18:11:00.000-07:00

And so it was, the great adventure. The first of what I hope to be several excursions., where the good become bad, the handsome become ugly and the remembered becomes forgotton. What am I talking about? Yes, it’s the traditional British stag party. So in true auditing fashion, I give you, ANDYS STAG DO

Establish Engagement objectives

The objective was plain and simple. To make sure Andy enters his marriage with the minimal amount of dignity and pride and to make sure that the rest of team help him along the way. As I sat in my corner of the pub, with the excitement buzzing around me, I paid careful attention while drinking my first beer in over a month. (After the first beer my memory is a bit hazy, so certain things if left out, are due to my failure as a light weight)

One objective seemed to be heard more often than not, the need to find a strip bar. (names have been changed to protect the identities of those that do not want to be named…erm). So big splodge-like person has confidently asserted that there are no , yes, no strippers in Belfast.

Imagine that, a whole city where no one can be paid to take their clothes of. Why? Having done a night out, It seems that these girls don’t need any pecuniary rewards for them to strip off (no personal experience). However having said this, it so happened that the stag himself seemed to find himself in the presence of a prostitute who had offered her services not only ot him, but to the whole "little italy" restaurant, full of slobbering, half conscious happy drunks.

So no strippers? Really? Ok . What are our other objectives? Basic objectives on every ones score card was the necessity to be as drunk and homosexual as ever. This inevitably happens when large amounts of alcohol are consumed and puke regurgitated. Your mates become a sure way of knowing that you are loved. Unlike women who tend to stay away from drunk guys, us men, seem to be more in need of a hug, big kiss (cheek), and if better a sumo style lifting manoeuvre, accompanied with a huge bellow of might and power to let everyone know that this man that I am lifting, is MY man!

PLANNING

the top best things that one likes to see when on a stag do are

1.the groom to be, to be making a fool of himself by running around stark naked, apart from a tight little g-string, in and around a public area.

2.a nice game of paintball, to show our macho-ness, and empty our bullets on the stag and anyone else who is outnumbered. Hit your own team, dive over messy and dangerously muddy terrain to overcome ones enemies, to perform the art of war to its entirety!!!!

3.to create banter by writing poems to random groups sitting behind you, male or female,
"oh scarfed wonder, how we do ponder, how beautiful you are today, . so give us a glance, and together we will dance, and together we will play"

4.The regular mooning. No matter kind of arse is mooned at regular passers by, it is still as beautiful as nature intended

5.to all manage to cordinate with each other at a subconcious drunken level to meet up at 4am in a mates hotel room and have more randomness, especially seeing how many people you can fit into one bed

6.Like any other conglomeration of hot blooded drunken males, tehre should be competition involved, wether this be drinking games, to best dance moves to hurdling a post box...

and so with this in i end, i wish you all goodnight cos its 2am and i have a trip to France with madame and i must be awake and on the look out for any signs of mass riots caused by students who are too scared to find out that being a bum might get them sacked!

before i go, it is my honour to leave you all with two fantastic poems written by two very good friends of mine. Sometimes i wonder what wasted talent you two are ! One relates to the previously talked about subject, the other, well, the other is our well loved career...

like a dove

2006-04-12T11:27:00.000-07:00

Genius I do say, works not work it is play, I read a poem true, all think I work but you.

Bish bash bosh, what a load of tosh, this auditing malarky is. I used to be a healthy, now I’m not even wealthy, cos this job drives me to the beers.

A belly I do grow, a face that’s lost its glow, an audit life takes its toll. I sit here and think how much I want a drink, as down the steep slope I roll.

Will I ever be the same, now my life is so mundane, as I audit bloody numbers every day, in the future people will say to me, you've lost all you soul and energy, what a terrible price to pay.

But all is not so bleak, when we near the end the week, we know that the fun will begin, we drink and drink to forget it all; in the following days we regret it all, as we start another week of auditin’.

And when that final bell doth ring, with the exams over we will sing, how wonderful it is to be free, and when looking back over the years, reminiscing on all those hard earned beers, remembering mates will fill us with glee.

It can’t be so bad, this entire audit fad, when qualified we will be. The world will open up, and free us like a dove, and into the open road we will flee.

by one of the jokers

Whilst the love is running high

2006-04-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

Whilst the love is running high, and the hangover is nearly nigh,
let me tell you the story, of our night of debauchery,
in the land of the emerald isle.

It started with a flight, deep into the night,
and end with the stag, wearing knickers like a slag.

And in between all that there was paintball, poems and pizza,
not to mention the dancin, beers and chunder.

The was lots of clever rhyme, with the ladies from the bar,
And whenever it was Riko Time, then laughts were nor afar.
guns, mud and paint, enough to make one faint, bang bang bang, the friendly fire sang
The trees did see so much, but not a war as such, but jolly good fun, all people with a gun
women, girls and boys, alcohol instead of toys, bad behaviour did ensue with more than just a few
And much more happened, includiung lots of play. I'm sure you'd like to hear,
but until i've got the all clear, i've nothing more to say.

For as we all know, what goes on tour stays on tour.

by

the 2 jokers

documentation

2006-04-09T11:10:00.000-07:00

Posts for the stag do....
if anyone wants to add their part...please do so by emailing me, and il put it up...
i think in order to add a comment yourseld, you have to be a "blogger" yourself..oh well...
dont worry...i wont censor anything .
Please give me some time however. This looks like a big blog. There is pressure, not to hurt anyones feelings, to make sure i get everything right in the "he said, she said" department, (Well just "he said i guess"), and then the pictures are going to go up as well.
Why am i typing this all up in the office? I have no idea.

Ill leave you with a little tantelising taster of what is to come.....

"Its Rrriiiiiikkooooooooooooooo time!!!!!"

Eaaaazzzay!

p.s a massive thankyou to big splodge!

2006-04-06T01:54:00.000-07:00

a bit of life...

2006-04-06T01:27:00.000-07:00

Have finished the book…I recommend everyone who wants to appreciate life that little bit more, whether it be those who have travelled to deserts, floated on ice caps or traversed the most dangerous rivers of the world, to those who have never left the comforts of their own bedroom, to read this book. It should, and will open your eyes to the beauty of life, and the miracle that seems to be forgotten by the millions of inhabitants of this city.

So, I sit on a train, and look around. Most people are reading, nearly everyone has some kind of music taking them away from a monotonous every day rat race.
I finish the last paragraph of the book, “we meet people who have cut through jungles, crossed deserts…and yet in souls we would search in vain for evidence of what they have witnessed…” but we should be attempting “to try , before taking of to distant hemispheres , to notice what we have already seen”

How can I appreciate everything that I have seen millions of times? I give it a go. So I close the book, move to the window seat of the metropolitan. One of the few tubes to resemble an overland junk train. The pen which acts as my bookmark becomes my tool as I look outside and take some notes…here is the end result…

A WINTER’S TREE
Standing Naked, frail but refusing to give up
Not like a willow, which humbly bows to its creator with its flaccid arms
The winter’s tree intrudes up to the sky,
Its branches like hungry veins, desperately searching,
Reaching out as far as it can
Trying to grab its ration of rare sunlight, a drop of water
Almost begging.
But there is something dignified with its posture, its stubborn posture
Its decision to stay put, whether it be surrounded by concrete slabs, or amongst others
It doesn’t fall
For its search is nearly over,
The long sacrifice of patiently waiting is repaid by mother nature
As the sun rises further, and the water generously pours
Its life has nt been overlooked,
It breathes , replenished, stomach full
Every naked arm to be rewarded
To be covered with a gorgeous earthly colours
To stand tall again and proud
To be prepared
For next time it will be a winters tree

2006-04-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

There are many times when I feel that I cant deal with life’s issues. The stress of work, the pressure of having to prove to others everyday, of having to prove to yourself that there’s a purpose to your life, of having to deal with things that to you seem the most important matters in your life, but in the great whoohah of the universe, well, they are as important as the “please keep your feet of the seats” signs.

How do we all , try and focus ourselves away from the mundane tasks that we do, from the problems that we face whether it be with relationships with loved one, or with those that we find when we glance at a passing headline on the Evening Standard.

For me it comes with writing. Right now, I feel at a moment where I need to write to take my mind of something. A blog needs to be a “true and fair” representation of its creator. It needs to have no hidden agendas, no ambiguous meanings but through it, one should be able to create an imagination of who the person is. However for once, I cannot go any further to describe the reason … its not right

So my cure? Writing…and reading. Im on my last chapter on my book, “The Art of Travel”, and it talks about ones need to posses beauty. There is only one way the author says, quoting a famous bloke called Ruskin (no idea who he is!)…to posses it you must draw it, or “word paint it”. Only then do you actualy notice the physiological effects of beauty and you actually notice the beauty of what might just be a ‘blue sky”…he (Ruskin) “recognised that many places strike as beautiful not on the basis of aesthetic criteria - the colours match, symmetry, proportion…but on the basis of physiological criteria, because they embody a value or mood or importance to us”
So in order for me to forget, I get up from my bed and I look at the sky. I live on the top floor of my house, with a view of the whole horizon, encompassing a golf course, trees, telephone poles and right now a sheet of blackness. Being far away from the city centre gives us the advantage of a view of the stars…

I guess that was a factual dead description. It doesn’t explain to you how this unique view makes me feel. That when I look at the half eaten moon, which seems like a torch shining down towards you, its makes you feel a sense of awe that theres a perfect semi circle of light, a whole in the sky reaching to the heavens

…the yellow stars that seem to be of all different brightness seem to be more like dots that unfortunately , in this part of the world are too tiny and infrequent to imagine that they are actually burning hot chemical reactions millions of light years away. Closer to home, theres the dancing street lights in the distance, that seem to give a magical impression that the land is lit up like candles ona birthday cake. Apart from that, theres only blackness, where houses are, there is nothing now. Like a deep hole into the earth. One might never know what it is if daylight never happened. The sky is never really black. it’s a dark purple which melds into the yellow down on the ground. Then finally theres the snakey and more sinister black outlines of the tall trees that surround the neighbours house , itself a dark sploge of emptiness with all its lights switched off. The branches look like veins shooting up into the sky, but thin and starving for life

I could have done a better job I guess..but this surely takes your mind of other things. Also, il never forget this view …even though I must have seen it a hundred thousand times!

So next time…take a look up. A blue sky isn’t really just blue.

2006-04-04T03:29:00.000-07:00

The pics have no relevance to anything that I fee like saying. Or maybe they do. “Whatever” as in the words of a wise girl I Know . Probably the point of the pictures are to show that i have no idea what is a good picture and what isnt. Everyone has their own views right?From being lost in one place, right on the tip of England, to being lost in your own town...

So today is a first of what I fear to be many. Im actually tired of talking. Not typing as you might see, but talking. Just generally exhausted. Found it hard to breathe. Not depressed. Though I guess I don’t know what depressed is like. Just tired. Lethargy. Hope not. Maybe it’s the fact that during the hours of 9-5, I have done NOTHING.

Sat in the office, an unusual feeling for a usual day, no idea what was going on. Ideas all over the place right now. I think I suffer from information overload. Too many things to take in at once. Too many thought processes each colliding with each other and running of the track.Same cd plays on my system as it has played for the past three weeks. He made it on his computer. Talented indeed. Especially the rain song with the Yorkshire accent, “is that you?”….who are you talking about geezer?

Another great man sits next to me in the office. Wondering why is he sitting in this room, why is he sitting next to me? He seems greater than one man, seems to be good at making people feel good. that’s LOVELY!

Another piece of good news. Football tournament. Apart from the fact that my knees go wobbly whenever competitions comes along, theres nothing better than letting a few curses, misplaced tackles and scorng a blinder of a goal…or at least dreaming about what you might do.Im walking across Westminister bridge with my top 100 songs softly taking away the buses, taxis, duck flute playing Chinese man. Dodging the “stop and take picture” tourists of Big Ben. I feel like a tourist every time. Always looking to the left, and then to the right. The sun setting over the London eye, light reflecting of numerous buildings. Ah, theres a nice song, “bye bye black sheep to the family”,(no subtle hints honest!) downloaded from another free spirited “dude”. Who sang that song? His father for all I know.

At the underground station. Not much to do apart from try and smile when the news of yet another delay is heard. Everyone queues outside the doors to the train. What,s the point. Theres another one in 2 minutes. Let the meat market fill up and squeeze through the tunnel. Il wait for another train. Still cant get a seat but who cares…Il pick up my kanji cards, Bored. Pick up my book. Now here’s a thought,“CONSIDER for a time how the world might look through other eyes…why might this be inspiring? Perhaps because unhappiness can stem from having only one perspective to play with”

Go home, tennisand gym are on my mind. Other things as well.... I have a strange passion as I step on the tread mill to not stop. To go on and on and on. I do that for 20 minutes. Im sure I could have done more. I come in and out of flash backs of moments of joy, sadness and utter randomness. Im just impatient (as my dad says), so I got bored. Swim and out.
Dinner, guitar, blog, sleep? Im sure im forgetting something. Il find out tomorrow

sea breeze

2006-03-21T08:53:00.000-08:00

Things to do
1)book hotel between Paris and Disneyworld
2)rent a car to go somewhere nice this weekend…
3)possibly buy a car? Got into a clients Minicoupe two weeks ago. Breaking any independence issues there, but she said no to the free car-free audit approach.
4) Save some money in order to contribute 10 pounds a month to a house that my brother might possibly buy.
5) Fill up the clients fridge with my groceries. Todays meal involved pitta bread and humous (in love with the sluggish stuff), and stick a few cucumbers and tomatoes and hey, you have yourself an Istandwich! How funny am I ?

Thankyou fellow work colleagues for your words of encouragement. The main comment I get, is “amit, your blog is very amusing”. Now is that amusing in the term of , “it takes me away to another land, far away from the laptop and desk of half eaten apples and cold canteen wanter”, or amusing as in “look at Newcastle TRY and get a place into Europe this season!”

HEADLINE NEWS!!! Should have mentioned this earlier.One of my best mates in Japan has decided to tie the knot with who has also become a good friend. I remember the first time I saw the northern monkey, as he tried to seduce a girl away from my radar. I thought, hes a bit old to be teaching isn’t he? Shouldn’t he be working at some finance office? However during the past two years of living in Japan together, iv found out that maybe im the older one. Taking the path less travelled by, I emailed him, after he called me to say calmly he is getting married. I havnt anything else but admiration for those that are brave enough to go out there and get what they want. He has done well!

Maybe there is hope for us yet in London especially when days spent commuting through Bank station. Why does this station, out of all the other depressing stations, remind me of sheep to the slaughter, zombies, or even more depressing, humans without a real sense of life. You become familiar with your surroundings, accept the fact that life is THIS and that there is no choice, and then you trudge along the belt, heads down, metro newspaper in your arm, trying to escape the monotonous noise of high heels and coughs with your Jack Johnson music.

I know im not alone in this common “breaking away from the norm” ideal, but do I think about this as often as other people do? Probably not. Where as I might not be able to quote and hide behind the words of great philosophers and poets who have influenced our way of individual thinking, I at least attempt to show a more simplistic (my middle name – simple!) view.

So, as I always start of in a positive manner, and end up the murky deep end, I think its time to swim back to the shallow and brighter side. When one of your best friends , who I know reads and gives his true honest opinion to the creation of amitosensei, surprises you with this wonderful news, it actually makes you shake. This might be a paper document, but it means vowing to TRY and spend the rest of your life with each other. I hope I can make it for the wedding, and I hope its like it should be, on a beach with a nice breeze, and a small open bar in the back round, or on top of a mountain where they once hiked up together…guys? Yufuin by any chance?

These things are only dreams right now for most of us, and definetly me. However with a bit of patience, I might see myself with a girl in my arms , on a beach, reading bits of my vows which I will no doubt blog for all the world to see!...and Mr Northern Monkey (not allowed to name)…I expect you and your family to be there…

the art of travel...

2006-03-18T01:35:00.000-08:00

or even the art of life...

"we change according to whom...and sometimes what we are with. the company of certain people excites out generosity and sensitivity, of others, our competiveness and envy. A's obsession with status and hierachy may lead B to worry about his significance...move B to another enviroent and his concerns will subtly shift"

but...

"what may then be expected to occur to a persons identiy in the company of a mountain, an oak tree, a lake...objects which after all have no conscious concerns and so it would seem cannot either encourage or censor behaviour? and yet an inaminate object may, still work an influenc eon those around it. oaks dignity, pines resolution, laks calk..and in unobtrusive ways act as inspirations to virtue"

opinion of a poet William Wordsworth who fell in love with the countryside, in particular Lake district, and believed that nature was a cure to the damaging effect of cities where they foster a "family of life-destroying emotions, anxiety about our position in the social hirachy, envy at the success of others, pride and desire to shine in th eyes of strangers....perhaps unhappiness can stem from having only one perspective

"dreamt of leaving...for smewhere else, somewhere far away, on another continent, with no reminders the the 'everyday"

but

"we are sad at home, and blame the weather and the ugliness f the buildings, but on teh tropical island we learn that the state of the skies, and the appeareance of the dwellings can never on their own undrwrite our joy nor condemn us to misery.."

i.e. in the words of Amit, "happiness comes from within"

is that you? its been such a long time

2006-03-16T14:17:00.000-08:00

or so go the lyrics from my midlands - to japan old friend..a very talented man indeed. He made this song , of which cd, i found lodged between a birthday card and a postcard that i was meaning to send to an old student for christmas. So, i have good intentions. but cant intend to do anything about it.

I had a better picture of you , lying face up on the saga eki after daves last night. However it just wouldnt up load. At least the fact that you're sitting next to a nice girl means that you dont lose "all of your face"

iv realised another thing today (before i continue)..the reason for my blogness-ness is that my familys state of the art wirless connection cuts off every five minutes. this means i am on a constant look out for the "not conected" signal before i click "send"!

this has been one of those "thinking" days..
are we all selfish?
can we all be positive ?
why do we get swallowed up in our own fears and sadness...?
why do we always want more than we need?
is it worth the sacrifice?
do i need to be doing this?

oh well, ifyou think that i have the audacity to answer any of these questions then your sadly mistaken. i dont. im tired of askng myself these questions. firstly because its quite emotionally draining, and secondly because its 1am! tiring indeed!

the thing is, once upon a time, this street answered a lot of those questions. Most of the questions, "answer lies within i guess" says I

anyway tomorrow is , yes u guessed it, another day of auditing mayhem. where the invoices need to matched, the staples need to be inserted in the stapler, and yes alas i need to wear some clean clothes that dont have bread crumbs from last week clinging on for dear life!

the thing is, yes life can be pretty crap, but one of favorite japanese quotes is, and one which luckily was too big to get a tatoo on my back for, was "sumebamiako". this means, no matter where u go, where you ARE , is your capital. what im doing is , yes, quite crap, and why im doing it i dont know, however i am OK. i have a an OK life, with friends, and a girlfriend and a family which cares for me more than i deserve. So does that mean i will be walking into the office with a smile on my face? hell no!

obviously the fact that its friday has an impact, but the scary thing is, hours ago, it was friday. Time has gone so fast since iv started this proffession, that i think iv proved einsteins theory wrong. You really can speed up time! I cant remember what i did yesterday, let alone 6 weeks ago. The worst thing is, iv given up alcohol!

hisashiburi!!!! long time...ca fait longtemps ne?

2006-03-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

how do i gain your trust now to read my blogs having not wrote anything for the past week..having left you all hanging by the thread, eyes popping out, searching the screen for some interesting words of wisdom, google, askjeeves..ANYTHING?!?!.you're all suffering from withdrawel symptoms...

Id like to believe that. As you can see, i do think a lot of myself.

However that is not important anymore, there are more important things to deal with. Like the fact that i have NO money. How come i spend more money than i earn. At university i had only 4ooo pound spending money and i survived. baked beans and melted cheese Now i earn a respectable salary, more than teaching, and now i find myself from plus to minus. I see how easy it is to spend money here. So much so, that iv stopped drinking anyway. Im not going to touch the thing that stealeth my money so quickly.

However im not sure that i can stop spending on other things. I am an accountant now, maybe i should form up my own profit an dloss acount. Oh how gay!!

Went to the birtish version of "bestdenki" today...and we spent a total of 3 grand, my dad that is. I look around, an di see signs like "peace of mind, free guarantee", "make your life better with a 50inch plasma tv" and other lovely material offers to make your life that much more worthwhile. ok im not mentioning anything that is not new. Just watch fightclub or read any old hippy book and you will know what im talking about...

but something like this is priceless. If theres one thing iv learnt from Japan, is that you dont have to be in a pretty place to be happy. Im reading a book "the Art of travel"...you dont need to be covered with tvs, slobered with alcohol and a comfy couch to be enternally happy. All you need is someone you love, and a sunset like this and life naturally becomes perfect. This could be anywhere? Luckily for me, this was a 5 minute drive away. I never appreciated as much as i should.

Anyway, this book is highly recomended, its written by a french guy, whose name i cant remember, and it might be slightly over philosophical over a simple topic as travel. However something like that helps you escape the general confusion that surrounds me when im stuck on a computer being told random orders that would make more sense if they were in Russian!!

If you can recollect the scene from Zoolander, when they were asked to find the file in the computer, and the resutl were apelike actions slamming their fists down on the computer. Imgine me then, in the same respect, shirt hanging out, hair all over the place, and when they explain the important life changing need to match an invoice to a number from a desk far far away...i feel like homer simpson..duuuh...

or il just switch off, close my eyes and think about...

OH come on amit!!! stop it now....lets be realistic...what do u think about when they babble ...even more than you???

need a bit of structure

2006-03-04T16:35:00.000-08:00

headline news...i have a cold! other breaking stuff...i must lighten up on my blogs ..speaking bout lightening up, i have managed to jog to the high st and back (Seems quite far...) and then play footie, where i blame my new spontaneously bought striking red boots for the fact that i got nut megged 100 times! shit! therefore no matter how many skills i did....which werent that many, apart from a cute little dribble, a neat flick on, and a beckham, shit, i mean (bollocks can any newcastle player be named?)....oh well, scott parker - esque.... so how do i lighten up my blogs.

well, other exciting stuff done this weekend (why do i talk like its already ended?)...was watching 100 most scary moments on tv, on tv. very interesting. most the scary moments were in black and white, when even a train coming towards you was scary as they thought the train would actually come out of the screen. what cowards!ahem...

as u might just have got the idea..i miss japan a lot, and i miss the easy life..but who says a bum in the city cant also find some kind of awesome radical and out of this world kinda sky duuuuuuuuude......
taken whule supposed to be working, went up the top floor, and just looked out into the sky...would rather be out there than in here any day!!!!

going back to the main point...another exciting moment...
mr blair being interviewd by parkinson. not every time you see the primeminister being interviewed on sat night tv. War, war, war..god, war, heart problems, bush, annoying, , the french basically that...

a little after thought...a conversation i just had with my cousin just now on msn
the annoyingness of tea . Well..I like tea and biscuits. She doesn’t like the fact when the bisucit falls in . its horrible. Its like someone gave you a present and just took it away. Its like being told that you were off a stock take and then being told ur on one again..yes these things annoy me…
But not biscuits diving into the bottom of your mug. No…I thing the soggy thing at the bottom is nice. Its waiting for you ..and so you also anticipate..can you scoop it out with your fingers after?will anyone notice? Maybe a spoon if ur in public. If it’s a chocolate covered biscuit, you can expect tea erosion…the chocolate being molded into the flavour of your tea…
I think I have just invented the biscui flavour tea!!!!
I can talk about this for much more….
And I will tomorrow

ANGRY ACCOUNTANTS ANGER AMIT!

2006-03-02T09:02:00.000-08:00

Quote from my text to Li “Sometimes, the only thing stoping me from getting up and going, and leaving the idiot job, and idiot people I have to work with…is that fact I found you here”

I cant help myself saying these things. Maybe It can be too much, but I guess it’s the fact that this job stops me from letting my emotions go. I remember like it was yesterday (oh how quaint!), the days when I used to rush in my slippers on the polished floor, and slide into my classroom, to enter the lions den (or in my case, the circus of life!). Students would be throwing paper at each other. Other kids will be exchanging puricura (photo stickers) of their boyfriends, and others will be just looking outside the window, waiting for the next break.

And so that memory crashes onto the dirt, and here I am, sitting opposite some fool(cant be too careful, so no names mentioned), who has managed to buy his qualification for accounting as well as some excess ego. I sit opposite him, typing this ….maybe not the best idea. What do I say when he demands his work? Literally demands…

I think in his backward opinion , he might think this is gentle banter. However, as most of you know, I do get a lot of attention from friends for my , what shall you say, my unique way of thinking (or not so much as it goes)…but this guy, this monkey, bites the wrong biscuit. He continuously blames me for not knowing where things are, where finds it next to his side of the table; plays golf for ages on his phone and then has the audacity to tell me how much work iv done; claims himself to be a ladies man and talk about how not to be gay (when he cant stop talking about kicking someones ass..even mine sometimes)…the thing is im upset by this. Just angry that there are as usual some idiots in this world. Here we have an arrogant accountant who thinks he has been there, done that and those…and it makes me think, why am I here? Why do I have to be with this ignorant fool who thinks that being one position above me, gives him the right to automatically know more about life than I do.

Ok, I might not know how to do this “simple” auditing task, and suddenly I blurt out , “I dont know, because its so bloody boring I cant get it on my head!”…talk about think before you speak! I do try, for some unknown reason, to try and understand. All I see is a brick wall, and my hair falling on the pillow.

I think iv learnt something from one of my favourite students…she used to stare out the window, just dreaming, sometimes with an earphone cleverly hidden under her sleeve. Never used to stop her from dreaming as she was always smiling. She used to say she liked staring at the clouds…

This job makes the clouds look so lovely…and have now 700 songs downloaded onto my mp3!

into the past

2006-03-02T05:54:00.000-08:00

currently situated at a place that quite possibly changed the course of English history, and therefore the world, with the consequent colonialism that followed...
1066?
Battle of Hastings? - ofcourse...
im here, in the centre of the Battle, quite literally, the town called Battle. More of a village , with luscious hills and dense woodland. Its not hard to imagine what the past must have ben like, because it hasnt really changed that much.
Damn unfortunate thing is that i forgot my camera. Just imagine walking out of an old resturant which used to be a public inn for wondering pilgrims, and staring at the stone walls of the abbey that William the Conquerer built under the orders of the Pope.

Yes, i read all of this at the station (more of a pit stop), , from a booklet - welcome to the battle - how original...
well im not here for work, but as work isnt so bad, iv managed to go jogging in the morning. so much so, that i dont really get lost in the woods (apart from inside my head), to make it back for some fresh salmon and scrambled egg. Feel oh so british...probably the most i felt in touch with nature since i left the lush paddy fields, refreshing water holes and challenging mountains of Japan.

Oh well, theres only so much of a 2 hour lunch break i can do, before i go back to work. The only drwa back of being here. Work...
the only drawback in my life...

jack johnson day!!

2006-02-25T06:39:00.000-08:00

all im going to say is that i wrote a lot of stuff......then it didnt save

peeved off....jack johnson is there for me tonight tho...

thanks nemo, tomo, keiko and peter....good stuff people!!!!

so its all good

2006-02-23T15:40:00.000-08:00

well ...
how many times do i start with "well?" ..now that is terrible. i need to start sentences in other ways...like, "there was a time..." and " it has been a while since i..."
anyway, in my search to show my girlfriend some culture, i took her to a nice ccuban bar. who would have thought that poor cubans, maybe not poor but defintly hard working, those who understand the true value of a hard days work..who would have thought that a meal for two in a cuban bar in london, where the band is cuban, the food and drinks are cuban (even the chicken is cuban);....who would have thought that it all would cost a grand total of 122 pounds!!!! thats over 4man yen for those of japanese culture...ouch ouch ouch! im not made of money, and my new job is better paid than my old job, but tax takes all teh advantages out of the way...oh shite...amit, save some money for once!!
the more absurd thing is, despite the drinks and the slight tipsyness, we had a better time munching down a romantic plate of ice cream and goodies for a handsome 20 quid. the things you can do with ice cream in public places!!!!!
now i type this blog, at me lady's flat, and im a little drunk, drinking hte hungarian "rum" she bought..its in speech marks, because actually its not allowed to be called rum...its a fake copy. after this, il go on to the cuban rum that my aunt bought me when they went to cuba.
some would say im turning to drink too much...more than jpaan...but hte alcochol , esp the beer was lighter...here is heavy..and too be honest, we drink because theres nothing else to do. we cant climb a mountain, or ride a bike to the local video shop, or go to the beach and swim in teh sea, or jog along the paddy fields.....
so, i found out, a friend of mine is leaving japan...do i come back...
all those in favour say "i"
....
anyway jack johson is all but 2 days apart..im a bit afraid that thers gona be a ton of girls screaming and disprespecting his simple lyrics with their knickers...jack wil not appreciate british crudeness....i hope i can be the only one singing along....
i hope i can hug him , and tell him he inspired me to play the guitar, and then get pissed of, because it looks like all he is doing is srumiing with his thumb..but when u learn, it seems you need 8 fingers on each hand. its frickin impossible!
anyway better have a shower now....
two posts in one day
ouch!

“IF in a hurry, take the long way round”

2006-02-23T04:52:00.000-08:00

-sorry bout the delay

Seem somewhat at one with this japanese saying. Why rush and see the world go by in a second? I cant physically walk fast anyway. Even when im late for work, and I think im walking at breakneck, puffing along the concrete pavements, and looking at my watch every 5 seconds, it seems that even short people have got longer legs than me. Its like they seem to be flying across London in their long black coats and black lap top bags. Maybe they just want to work that much more than me?
So far London hasn’t been that bad…have been able to meet many friends, some of which I think I have grown distant from, some of which I have gained a new special bond and others who really, would still be the same in another 20 years. Now, because of work, its so happens that your social circle grows even more, and in my case a girlfriend too
A lot of friends have been working solidly for two years, earning a good salary and able to go to top of the range clubs. I seem to lack any motivation to queue for an hour in the rain, and end up in a club full of x football players, expensive couches and 50 cent tunes. Sure enough these clubs have many fans, or else they would end up being like my local pub, “the Moon,” decaying at the corner of the high street. However there must be more to a night out, especially in London , than the shock of finding a receipt for a 120quid bottle of champagne bought 2 weeks ago.
I say NO! I will not go! I don’t want to escape one flock of sheep in one pen, to jump to another. Does this sound old? Mature? I hope not. That excuse of being too mature is like saying, buying a Volvo is responsible…No, I still like the classic crash sensitive volkswagon beatle.

Luckily I have like minded friends here who would prefer going to a live gig, Cuban bar, a funky restaurant,. I even encouraged a grand total of 3 of my mates to come horse riding for the weekend. Forgetting scenes from “brokeback mountain”, the thought of being free on a horse, and riding along the welsh coast, then returning to your hotel 18th century mansion to have beer by the firelight…now that’s different
I think about all the blogs iv written so far, and now I think its time to change the subjects to actually “what did I do today” topics. However im a bit scared that it will compromise of the following:
“late again, pretended to be busy…fell asleep around 1.30, rang a few people, fnished work at around 6, see someone, hopefully li, who can make me forget about work, eat, watch tv, play guitar (if im lucky), and then sleep”………..ooooooooh yeah!

Jack Johnson concert – 4 days to go
Song of the day – to remind me about all the goods things “gimme some luvin,” G - love

2006-02-20T13:29:00.000-08:00

So, I have an idea
My manager is working in the other room. Little does he know, but I have just completed my tasks for the day. Oh how efficient I am. If he walks in right now, all I have to do is the magical "alt+tab" and voila, a lovely xcel spreadsheet full of jargon and unimportant numbers that will make his rosy cheeks blush in content, and then he can puff his chest, and stride back to his air conditioned room, leaving me in trust that I am indeed a competent member of the workforce.

Alas, I have learnt one thing in Japan, and use it wisely here. The art of , as I like to call it in japanese, "izokashi-poi". Looking busy. Im sure theres a more technical term for it, but I was never that technical. Therefore I have managed to fool many a senior figre by simply greeting them with a smile, scratch of the head when they ask me a question, thumb and index finger on my stubly chin when deep in thought, and the infrequent "iv just finished anaylsing the economy of the world and predicted its future" sigh!
So you see, life in London in the city isn’t hard. I do believe the work that im doing, and even many people do in the city, is so brain numbing and uninspiring, that you can give the instructions to a 15 year old school kid (maybe younger) and set out the instructions clearly for him to follow, and you would have the same work completed in half the price. However, instead we have a flock of arrogant overpaid, "im working so hard, life is so bad" type arseholes that no wonder I get depressed every time I enter the tube. Its full of drones, only getting up because they really havnt got a choice. The typical slave to the job…
Am I a hyprocite then? I indeed complain about my job. I defiantly complain about the work being long if not hard. So what makes me different? Probably nothing, which makes the situation even more dire. To know that you have a choice to possibly escape, meet new people and just break free from the corporate shackles is even worse than not knowing and believing that his is the only thing that you can do with your life….
Which leads me to my next and possible "slow" breakaway solutions...part of my LOW goals…Life Outside Work
I created this, minute my plan grounded heathrow. So effected by the fact that I knew my life would not completely mine anymore, I had to think about how to start spending my free time. The effects are beginning to show already. So far I have been able to get involved in guitar lessons (I hope I will have the chance to shout "HE is my teacher!!!" when he climbs the charts). Then there is the weekly (nearly) footie practise…
Most recently, and most bizarrely, there is the acting course that I am partaking in. Although a beginning course for drama, so far I have read Shakespeare in front of a class of 20, performed a small solo for a poem, and improvised a scene with a colleague. I don’t think I will be ever good at acting but it’s a buzz that I havnt felt in a long time (closest so far would be getting up on stage in front of 500 students and staff and explaining to them why you have chosen to leave Japan forever)

So watch this space me says! You never know…you might be able to say when you see me on the big screen, "shit, HE is my mate!!"

not sure how to add links..but read

2006-02-18T05:28:00.000-08:00

www.sekkarashii.blogspot.com

and then theres nemos, and ross, and mattus, and ofcourse you got me...

the weekend has arrived, and i will be heading off to do some sightseeing. always wanted to get on top of a bus.those sightseeing ones ofcourse...must dash

living for the weekend!!!

2006-02-16T23:38:00.000-08:00

(another nice song by hard-fi)...

tme - 7.40am
day - friday
-days of work this week - 3
why? was ill...
really? will yu print this out and send it to my boss?

Typing this blog from my house, so usually the mood is better, and the tone is lighter. (means same thing?). just more comfotable when i write when im sitting on my own bed, in my converted japanese room (i.e. carpet to wooden floor, bed to matress, and shower to bath)...well i tried...

yes, i live in this place, in the suburbian area , zone 6 of london, i.e. an hour from the city. i guess i was urging to escape from here, i still do (crazy?)...maybe yes. here i have an indian maid who cant speak english, but cooks the best vegetarian food ever (shame shes not a meat cooker, seems by her weight, shes more of a meat eater!). wel theres another topic to cover, i cant speak hindi, and some of you ,ight question my english. So coversations are usually like this

"manisha, food...eat...ok?
manisha - "hah! food? quesa food(or something like that)
me - "anything..cushni (anything i think that is)"
manisha , dazed - "hah?!?! cushi? chushi bla bla blah"
me - fooood please...now praying to her..the godess of the kitchen
manisha - "blah blah ..now turning around and mumbling and taking some utensils from under her bagy clothes and wiping the saucpans with her pyjamas , fresh grease from india i guess...

the conversation is longer than that...but i havnt got time to write..have to go to work. how exciting. am late, again. but somehow i dont care. im more excited about teh long walk i have to the station, a good 20 minutes, past memories of old (especialy the girl high school where i usd to always try and look my best when i used to walk past. nothings changed!)

time to hit tthe road jac..and dont come back no more , no more no more....

not going to give up

2006-02-15T15:51:00.000-08:00

really dont think i can give up ,
this is something that i think i should do, to prove to the many that i can stick by and get this done.
was told by my manager that i have to buck up...took some sick days off...am escaping the inevitable...that life in london will be monotonous unless i do something to change it.
so, guess what i decide to do..take acting lessons..well first one, is on sunday.
the second thing i do, is decide to start cooking. yes, although this was slightly attempted in Japan, now, there is a secret passion to learn how to cook dishes that even blue peter would have to take a day to prepare "one they made earlier."
i thought maybe with a blog, i would be able to write some itneresting things. however it kinda depends on the mood your in. if your ina good mood, the blog you write becomes exciting, like a guitar with new strings being plucked! (love my metaphores)....but if ur ina shitty mood, its really like the dull clouds and cold rain that london offers too often...(so what do you think?)
much of my mood depends on little things...
- work? not at all..it might be shit, but i know that its not the "be all and end all"...
- life away from japan - used to be, but getting used to it...
-girls? kinda guessed it...have a girlfriend now, who although being a lovely girl, seems to influence my every mood. maybe this is karma that i deserve given my track record with the oriental express. now i find myself with one who can, quite frankly, give me my own medicene...
but those who know me, know that this is one thing that i dont give up on, and yes il fight on. However as i think about my journal which i kept for the two years in japan, its kind of frightening how many times you write about personal problems, rather than comment on the wonderful times your having....
....so best to change my ways and be positive. there are many good htings to life...like the ability to book the most random things on the internet, to give a homeless person your cup of coffee when you realise that you dont really need it....when you lose your phone..and say f-k it cos you never really call those people anyway...when you slowly realise that you CAN do what you want...

i promise the next one will be a blog!....i.e. what iv done that day...
if you really want to know about an accountants life that is!!?!?!?!?

group of the day - "the perishers" a funny name, and maybe fitting due to the music they play. borderning on the cheesy american slow lovers rock, with a bit of coldplay twist (shut up amit...think your blabbering....)

not quite blogging material but...

2006-02-12T03:07:00.000-08:00

well good morning i woke up in my house, (for a change) to find mist coming from my breath. it was freezing. there was frost INSIDE the room. so what happened from yesterday night to today. how should i know! im not an engineer..i believe in bad luck and karma. i woke up in a house that seems to be a complete stranger to my life now. i moved back in september, having spent a large proportion of my good looking, post puberty life outside it. i remember two weeks i was cooking for a friend, and i couldnt even find the nice clean scratch free frying pan...my mum, amazing cook that she is, doest not seem to keep one. she believes in antiques and using past flavours stuck on the pan years gone by... anyway a friend of mine stayed over yesterday. i thought it would be a good reason to show her seveal past memories that have helped to mould me into the dashing man that you see before you... .

......mmm very dashing indeed. anyway we went to my private school, Merchant Taylors School. Its funny, that for 6 years i couldnt wait to get out of that no girls, dull grey suits, farty hymn singing old men decaying old building....but now im showing my friends with pride this 20 acre, majestic and historical atmosphere for learning and education....ok, i fail quite miserably to describe my school in a positive way...
What im trying to say is that its nice to know where you came from, and look at your past. walking in a wood, that i used to live by and seeing the garden of my old house where i used to bum around 15 years ago, seemed to give me a sense of comfort, that no matter where i go, i will always be able to call this place my home...
it makes you feel fulfilled. im comfortable that no matter what happens to me, and no matter who dumps me, i can always go home and relax in the suburbs of london, far from the chaotic drama of london traffic, and enjoy a quiet drink in the local with a friend, or even eat my mum's curry...

sleeping on the job again

2006-02-09T15:10:00.000-08:00

its hot...my eyes are squinting. i look at my phone, hoping it might just buzz to say i have a new message..anything to get me distracted from this monotonous ticking. yes, this matches with that, and that has this to go with them, and therefore its all ok and i can go home now!

if i take time to reflect on my life so far, i will realise i am like a record player. many different lines, it looks smooth from a far distance, but is kinda rough to tough, and sometimes crackles like your rice crispies...how does that represent me? pople say i have had a good and easy life, i have had many stories to tell, and it all seems good..the thing is, im just repeating myself like an old record player, and a the life isnt as beautfiul as you might think

iv only done my second blog , and already im getting bored. i just cant get into any hobby for that long, without being curious to know what the other hippy is up to. would love to jump on a snowboard, and rush down those steep slopes with my chilled out music gliding me down.

instead, im on a small cramped table, with an aching back, looking out of a window, wheres theres the typical london view of...another brick wall. hate brick..so boring. red and rectangular, a childrens lego piece. my manager tells me, "amit, have you fnished yet"...i reply..."erm..well, not sure reallly" in the most intellectual manner possible. i should rather say, "no will, i have no f-kin clue what im supposed to do. you see, i was distracted. in fact, im so sorry. i should never have got distracted. how can you get distracted when you stare at size 6 font numbers and match them to a purchase invoice which has a size 4 number, and you have a whle other 6 hours of this exciting work to do. its soooo useful to my life! in fact, i want to take it home with me and sleep on it..i want to rub myself naked with documents and papers and spend my bonus on staples and hole punchers! you complete arse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

as you can see, i have my little reservations about this job. in fact the only thing keeping me alive right now are several things...but i dont know you that well enough to tell you yet. however that is enough complaining about my job. i plan to have a good weekend, which is the norm, and bring a much more positive outlook on life...in fact my manager did say in japanese, i am so "bubbly"...bubbly was said in english. so i guess im happy about something.

as far as things brought from japan goes, two new hobbies, of which i am at best mediocre in, djing and guitar have been keeping me alive. right now, i listen to the chilled album of "thievary corporation"...reccomended if you have candles, a sexy girl on your bed ...or a laptop and crap to write about as is in my case...

lee, is this getting any better?

the first of many..

2006-02-07T15:53:00.000-08:00

Blog objectives -

1. to type and type and type
2. to make sure that my grammer improves and practise use of past tense
3. to complain about the current job im in, (if thats possible)
4. to complain about london and the people who live here...
5. to make new friends in london
6. as a point of contact to those who live in japan...those people who i might have scarred for life, the girlfriends who might not understand my english but will be glad to see my picture posted on the internet at last, and for those who had the patience to share their friendship and beer for the past two years
7. to lose focus, and possibly ramble on and on and on and on.....

what to not expect....

1. bill bryson-esque humour..he is a genius..i am not!
2. fluent and correct english...eerm..no
3. great adventures of how i rescued a pet cat from a burning tree..im an accountant who has lost his only pair of trousers and is lost in the maze of the london tubes
4. original and unique proverbs, metaphores, and quotes....
5. structure (why?!?!?)

as much as i want to write more, and as much as i need to write something , or at least post a picture of my big nose, im going to (for once) withold the temptation, and start properly tomorrow when i leave my girlfriends flat...
need to have a shower...went to chinatown and i come back smelling of a peking duck and gooey spare ribs!

p.s. song of the day - kings of inconvinience - (name of track not sure...but its quite depressing....whats material ..., one perceives something as hunger, and the other as food...)..reminds me of something quite depressing , that i need to talk about tomorrow with a clear head.

right now, shower, cuban rum and a movie...

a big "shout out" to those lovers and free spirits out there. *you know who you are.